they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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