Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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