its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
i think i just lost a toe
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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