Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
