i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
