Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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