is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
