I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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