it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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