grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
