So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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