I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
