Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
There's always time for handjobs
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize