had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
