The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
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