I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
my poor anus
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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