im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
