Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
