i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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