she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
