I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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