every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
