Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize