why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
