i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
