I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
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