DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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