Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
