Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
