Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
