would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
