Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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