Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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