Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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