It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
