just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize