We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
