so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize