Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize