Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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