He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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