just come out here and I will go home with you...
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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