What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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