Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
