remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
