Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
