Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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