mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
