There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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