Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
