so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
