i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
