His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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