He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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