Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
