windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
