Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
