Just took my morning after pill in the library
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There's always time for handjobs
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize