the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
