so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
