i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.Â
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
