Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
