i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
