I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
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