he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
